


Survival is my default mode

by obsolete_ocelot



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anxiety, Drabble, Hockey, Jack Zimmermann's Overdose, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 16:19:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12915585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsolete_ocelot/pseuds/obsolete_ocelot
Summary: I just reread all the current comics again and I needed to write about Jack post Juniors, like right when he was making up his mind to move away.





	Survival is my default mode

Sometimes I can convince myself  
I have it figured out  
As long as I keep things  
Orderly, precise,  
Controllable

It works so long as when  
I close my eyes I think of  
Muscles sore from practice  
The crack of stick against puck  
The crush of bodies in battle  
Not you

And how  
Each look and careless touch was  
A prelude to knowing  
Our mouths were meant to fit just so  
Your hands on my skin a wound  
Pain and pleasure in every other breath  
Chaos, entropy,  
Love

You liked to remind me  
It's always quiet before the storm  
That's when everyone  
Holds their breath and turns  
Just in time to watch you  
Fuck up, crash,  
Fail

You told me once  
'When you're on, you're untouchable  
But when you're not, you're an  
Anxious, worthless  
Disaster'

I wanted to tell you,  
'When I'm with you, we're invincible  
But then you leave and you still are  
And I'm just  
Alone, broken,  
Empty'

Sometimes I can convince myself  
Simply moving away from you  
Could do what the pills never could  
Survival is my default now  
Closed off, defensive,  
Alive


End file.
